


Avengers Disassemble

by simeysgirl



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-16
Updated: 2016-03-16
Packaged: 2018-05-27 02:21:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6265807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simeysgirl/pseuds/simeysgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The wizarding world has embraced Muggle cinema, and the Marvel Cinematic Universe has grabbed their attention. And certain people have their own ideas on who's the best.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Avengers Disassemble

**Author's Note:**

> Silly bit of fluff written for disapparater. I don't own any of JKR's characters, and I certainly don't own the MCU.

If there was one thing Draco was sure of, after knowing Harry for sixteen years—and living with him for three—was that the man could mope. The Boy Who Moped they should bloody call him. 

The silent treatment, turning his back on Draco in bed, refusing to listen to reason—all of it. Harry was like a child when he was in a mood. He would throw a tantrum—there was really no other word for it. He'd throw a tantrum over the silliest things.

And now, Harry was having a tantrum because of his stupid idea and it was just that: stupid.

It was all Harry's fault, of course. It was Harry who insisted on 'date nights'. It was Harry who had planned that date. It was Harry who had chosen the bloody film. It wasn't Draco's fault that Harry was delusional. Draco couldn't blame Harry completely, though. He could see why he would think it, yet it didn't make him any less wrong.

It had all started three days ago. Three days of the silent treatment and Harry moping around the house. Harry had persuaded Draco that they _needed_ to see that film. Draco, had not particularly given a shit what they saw—he had just wanted to see some stuff blowing up—agreed. Big mistake.

Draco enjoyed the film. Of course he did. It had everything he liked in a film: Fight scenes, big bad guy and good guys prevailing. And the good looking actors helped. Yes; good, clean fun. It was when they went for something to eat after the film that everything changed.

~

“So, what did you think?” Harry asked, looking at the menu.

“About what?” Draco asked, genuinely confused. Harry was always doing that, starting a conversation as if Draco had the first clue what he was on about.

Harry laughed. “The film. Good, yeah?”

“It was great,” Draco said, trying to decide between the chicken al fredo and the mushroom gnocchi. “Iron Man was bloody brilliant. He's got to be my favourite. I wouldn't mind seeing it again. We'll have to see if the gang would be up for it.”

Draco, finally deciding on the gnocchi, looked up to see a look of pure disbelief on his boyfriend's face. “Harry? Are you okay?”

“Iron Man.”

“Hmm?”

“Iron Man. How the buggering fuck did you come out of that film thinking Iron Man is the best Avenger?”

Draco could only gape, not knowing what the fuck was going on. The look on Harry's face was one Draco didn't like at all. It usually preceded something bad.

“Are you ready to order, Sirs?”

“No!” Harry almost shouted.

“Sorry,” Draco said at a much more normal volume. “Can we have another minute, please?”

The waiter—obviously not wanting to get in the middle of a domestic—nodded once and left as quickly and quietly as he'd arrived.

“What's wrong?” Draco asked before calmly taking a sip of water. “You didn't like Iron Man? But you loved the Iron Man film.”

“Yeah, of course. But... but you can't seriously think that Iron Man is the best Avenger. Come on!”

“Well, yes. He's Tony Stark, for Merlin's sake. Billionaire genius. Saves the world on a regular basis. Of course he's the best.”

“But, but,” Harry spluttered, “what about Captain America?”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously,” Harry said, crossing his arms across his chest. “He's brave, strong and selfless. And he also saves the world. All without being a complete arsehole in the process.”

And it snowballed from there. Draco never did get his gnocchi.

~

It had only been a few years since Muggle cinema had become the new 'in' thing amongst young witches and wizards, but Harry and Draco—and their assorted friends—took to it with a vigour usually reserved for Quidditch. A Muggleborn had opened one tiny cinema in Diagon Alley, and it turned out to be such a big success, before long they were popping up all over the wizarding world. 

In pubs and workplaces all over the country, the latest films were the hot topic of conversation. And The Avengers had a whole generation of witches and wizards enthralled.

The day after Harry and Draco's disastrous date, they were expected at Ron and Hermione's for one of their get togethers—which, in reality consisted of their group of friends drinking far too much of Ron's homebrew and simply getting sloshed. Harry, having not spoken to Draco—except to try and persuade him of Captain America's brilliance—was incredibly happy and excited to get there early. 

Draco soon realised why. They'd barely got through the first barrel of beer before Harry brought up the film.

“And this one,” Harry said, gesturing towards Draco with his glass, “thinks Iron Man is the best Avenger.”

Ron spluttered. “You're crazy, mate,” he said. 

Harry looked as if all his Christmases had come at once. 

“Everyone knows,” Ron continued, “that the Hulk is the best. I mean, come on. He's the bloody Hulk. Pure strength.” 

If Draco wasn't too busy staring in disbelief at Ron, he might have found the look on Harry's face hilarious.

Ron balled his fists and growled. “HULK SMASH! Awesome. Right, love?” he added, looking at Hermione.

“Hmm, I have to disagree,” Hermione said firmly. “The Hulk, Iron Man, Captain America, they all have reasons why they have power. They were given to them—they're false.”

Everyone started talking at once, but Hermione silenced them with a dish of mixed nuts.

“Now,” she said when they finally shut up, “Black Widow... on the other hand, she may have been trained, but it's all her. A strong, independent woman, holding her own in a sea of testosterone—and other assorted chemical and mechanical enhancements.”

“Bollocks,” Ron said around a mouthful of peanuts. “Did you see the way the Hulk dealt with Loki. Pure fucking brilliance.”

Well, Draco couldn't argue with that fact, but still. “Iron Man,” he said, throwing a cashew at Ron's head. “He was the one who risked his life to close the portal. He—”

“Is an arrogant arsehole,” Harry interrupted. “Captain America, was on the ground saving lives and fighting hand-to-hand with Black Widow.” He looked to Hermione, obviously trying to butter her up. The weasel.

“Ahem,” Neville interjected suddenly, “so was Hawkeye. Also someone without superpowers. Just him and his bow, if you'll recall.”

“He was weak!” Harry said, jumping from his seat, and only calming once Draco placed his hand on Harry's arm.

“Weak?” Neville said, looking put out. “How the hell could you say that?”

“Because it's true. He was susceptible to Loki in the first place. It was his fault—”

“No, it wasn't!” Neville looked uncharacteristically pissed off. “Anyone could have fallen under his spell. The scythe—”

“Iron Man didn't.” Draco took a gulp of his beer. See them argue with that.

“Yeah,” Ginny said, “but no one else was subjected to it, so we don't know. But there's no way Thor would have fallen for it.”

“Doesn't take away from the fact that Iron Man is the best. Unbeatable.”

Ron laughed. “If it wasn't for the Hulk, he'd be dead.”

“You don't know that,” Ginny said. “Thor would have been quite capable of catching him.”

“Wait,” Hermione said. “You can't be bringing 'what might have been's into it! Thor is nothing without his hammer.”

“Thor is a God! And he cares what happens to Earth. Deeply”

“So does Captain America! He literally died to save the world.”

“Literally?” Hermione shouted, pointing her finger at Harry. “ _Literally?_ Then he'd be dead. Now I'm not saying he didn't save the world—”

“Good, because he bloody well did.”

“But,” Draco said, patting Harry's arm, “if it wasn't for Howard Stark, your beloved Captain America would still be at the bottom of the ocean.”

“Oh. So we're bringing parents into it now, are we? How's that fair?”

“What was the name of Captain America's film? _The First Avenger_.” Harry crossed his arms as if he'd won.

“Thor's a God.”

“Hulk's a hulk.”

“Have you seen what Hawkeye can do with his bow?”

“Should I be worried about you and Hawkeye?” Ginny asked her boyfriend, elbowing him in the side.

“Enough!” Hermione shouted, standing on the coffee table to be heard over the din. “I don't think this is going to be resolved like this. We all have our own views and I don't think we're going to change anyone's mind. Tonight, anyway. Can we please just have a drink and talk about something else?”

Draco took Harry's hand and whispered something into his ear that he sincerely hoped his friends didn't hear. Harry kissed Draco hard and soon relaxed back into his seat. Draco knew how to calm Harry down. And if he had to find a bloody Captain America costume to do so, so be it.

“So,” Ginny said once everyone was once again settled into their seats with fresh drinks. “What do you think of the Falcons using illegal players?”

Ron spat out his beer. “In what way were they illegal?”

“Well, they weren't legal, so by definition...”

And it snowballed from there.

~

Three years later.

Draco drained the last of his whiskey and readily accepted the top up from Ron. It had been a brilliant night; Neville's birthday always was. Harry felt odd about celebrating his own birthday, so their group tended to go all out for Neville's.

They'd had good food, great whiskey and their usual mix of witty banter and debate. The wireless had been playing good music—another thing the wizarding world had thankfully adapted from the Muggles.

“And now,” the tinny voice on the radio announced, “your weekly entertainment update from Oswald Day.”

“Thank you, Gwilliam. I have some very exciting news for you, dear listeners! The moment we've all been waiting for! The trailer for the new Captain America film has been released and it's as amazing as you've all hoped. 

“Captain America: Civil War has our favourite American soldier facing up against his one-time friend, Iron Man, in the fight of their lives, causing their fellow Avengers to choose sides. Who do you want to win? I know which side I'm on, but I suppose we'll have to wait till next year to see how it plays out. 

“In other news, the Muggle pop group One Direction have announced—”

Silence reigned as someone—Draco didn't have a clue who—abruptly turned off the wireless. One second stretched into two before all hell broke loose.

The room erupted in noise, everyone shouting over everybody else. Someone muttered, “Not again,” but Draco wasn't sure who. He just knew he had to make his voice heard. Words merged as his friends shouted their views to anyone who would listen, but one sentence struck Draco and his temper flared.

“In what way,” Draco said to Harry, who was gesturing widely with his glass, “is Iron Man _ungrateful_?”


End file.
